My boyfriend and I are talking of marriage. We both graduate with our undergraduate degree by next december. We aren’t getting engaged till after we both graduate. I kinda would like to keep the excitement of moving in together until we are married….but it seems kinda silly to wast money on two rents and things like that, when you know your going to get married anyway. What do y’all think?
25 Responses
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
My short answer is yes its ok…. try before you buy.
My longer answer is…… if it’s ok with you and your boyfriend, then I really wouldn’t worry if it was ok with anybody else. Your marrying him, not the whole of Yahoo Answers. Please, its hard enough keeping one person happy, it would pretty ambitious to try and please everyone.
Just be true to yourself.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
No, it’s not okay. The fact that you are asking should answer your question for you.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Living together is a smart thing to do. How will you know if he is the one? Living together will let you learn everything about him. All of his nasty and weird habits, the bed head, as will he learn about you. You should know what you are getting yourself into.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
i say its better to move in so dat you guys can learn each others differences and you’ll save more you can even mayb split bills to pay and of course dnt be scared to get married and congrats and good luck..
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
wait till you get married to move in together maybe 1 of you can move back home or live in a commune.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Good things come to those who wait. Focus on your own life. Do the best to improve yourself. Maybe you will want to go to grad school? Advance in your career? Don’t be really really anxious to jump into marriage and living together, especially. We change SO much between 20 and 30 and you will thank yourself later for restraining yourself.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Its fine, but some people might call it wrong due to the fact that your not married
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I think its fine. You know what you are doing behind closed doors and people who are close to you should know you well enough to know if you are or aren’t doing anything that should wait ’til marriage. Who cares what others think. But don’t just move in together to save money, you have your whole life to make money but this will be a big step that you’ll remember forever.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
If you are committed move in together if you wish and don’t pay any attention to anyone who criticizes. It is your life to do with as you wish as long as you harm no one, including yourself. You are right. It is a waste of money to live apart.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
You need to save money and these days it is perfectly acceptable to live together
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
i personally think people living together before marriage is a good idea. so long as you have respect for each other no matter what happens.
many people believe you don’t truly know someone until you’ve lived with them. and why would you marry someone you don’t truly know?
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I ‘d wait till after you were married to move in together, because it will make it more exciting when you’re married.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Course it is. My hubby and myself planned our wedding after I had our 2nd boy!!
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
in religion absolutely not you can not live together in any kind of religion
unless you are married to him or her.
but still won’t be crime, i think living together will save you time and money speciallyy if he lives far from you, gas and calling,,,,,,,,,,,!!
and you’ll save on rent, by the way let him pay the rent he is the man
girls should only spend their money on themselves. good luck
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
sweety i think u should wait until wed coz if u will stay together then ur both craze which both of u hav for each other will b finish so wait is better sweet but if u can other wise its up to u sweety
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I am a tad confused… We are in 2008… You can live with your boyfriend if you want to. Why not? I have lived with my fiance for 3 years now and it’s great! You will see him differently when you live together, people change when you live with them. Not saying in a bad way, sometimes, but not always. As far as I know, couples generally live together before they get married to make sure that well, they can live together. If you enjoy spending time together and want to share your lives with each other then go for it!
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I think it’s ok. My husband and I lived together while planning the wedding.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
i lived with my new husband for 2 yrs before we got married .
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
yes
we are. its great
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
ABSOLUTELY!! My boyfriend and I moved in together this past summer. We are from different states and met while attending the same college. Moving in with each other was a way we could stay together. He and I are both so happy to have jobs, to be out on our own, and to be saving money on rent – especially these days. If you two are serious about one another, I say go for it. Waiting until marriage to move in together is a really nice thought, but it’s also a really old fashioned way of doing things. It will give you a chance to see how it would really be to be married!! If you’re still in college, then you are VERY young to be talking about marriage. Give it some time (you have plenty of it) and test it out!!
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
First, that depends on your values and your families’ values. Will Grandma disown you if you live together? Will you feel that you are compromising your own values if you do? That’s a huge part of the decision.
Second, some facts. Couples who live together are less likely to ever marry than couples who don’t. BUT couples who live together after they are already engaged, with a wedding date set, are no more likely to get divorced than couples who do not live together beforehand.
The reason for this is that, once you are engaged, you are already functioning as a married couple – thinking about shared assets, compromising, building a life together. People who live together who aren’t engaged are much more likely to function as two very separate individuals.
So is it good or bad for your future marriage? Neither. Is it morally right or wrong? That depends on what you believe.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
it was right for us. i wouldn’t do it any other way.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I know that a lot of people live together before they are married, but i do not think it is a good idea. People make the excuse, "how do you know if you can live with eachother?" well, at this point in time, you should know if you can handle being with this person 24/7 because you are probably with him a lot, at his place a lot, etc. and you see how he lives. If there was something extremely objectionable in his lifestyle you would know by now.
Plus, like you said, the excitement of being newlyweds will be gone because after the wedding, you will go back to life exactly as you have been living it, except you have this piece of paper.
I’d like to ask you this question: What is the point of living together now when you are going to get married soon, anyway? Why jump into co-habitation now when you will be living together for the rest of your life? Being engaged is a great time in your life and the last time that you will get to be single and live with female roommates or on your own, whatever it is you will be doing. Enjoy this time. You have the rest of your life to live with this man.
Yes, you are spending money on two rents but I think it is a lot healthier for your relationship if you wait to "live married" until you are married.
I know this was a long answer but i feel pretty strongly about this issue.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Yes. This isn’t the Dark Ages anymore where the Church controls everything you do.
June 4th, 2010 at 4:48 am
I am going to say wait to move in!!!! I feel like it is the best thing to do! I am coming from a religious stand point. I feel that waiting will make it fun because you get to learn these things as a couple not before because really what is there to look forward too!
Waiting will be worth it!