Whenever someone is asked to be a matron of honor, it is a time of both shock and pride. You must be prepared to invest both your time and your money. How much will depend on how much help you get from to two parties’ friends and relatives but you are still going to have to do the lion’s share. Many people think that the matron / maid of honor only has input on the day of the wedding (as this is only when they see you in action). In reality, your job starts just after the couple have decided to marry. You have your MAID OF HONOR obligations prior to the wedding day.
There are many pre-wedding obligations a Maid of Honor is anticipated to perform. Your job starts as early as the first wedding planning task. Your organizational skills will be referred to as on continually as the big day draws near. Many times you will find yourself carrying out things on your own. As maid of honor, just what are you expected to do?
You will be helping the bride with a lot of important decisions. Choosing the location of the ceremony and the wedding reception, picking wedding invitations, deciding on the bride’s gown and wedding attendents attire, tasting wedding cakes, deciding on the foods, flowers and decor – all of these selections must be made early on when planning the wedding. It will be hard work and there will be times when you want to tear your hair out (don’t though. It will look terrible in the photos!). Hopefully you will look back on it and realize it was actually a lot of fun. As I said above, it’s an emotional roller coaster for the bride and some of her choices may be governed by this. It is up to you to take a step back and look at her thoughts objectively. Don’t be scared to disagree. You have to take a detached view. Remember, long after the wedding, she will be detached enough to ask you “why didn’t you really say what you thought?”
Once you’ve got those things done you will need to get stuck in to your next set of duties. This means checking on everyone else who has some part to play in the wedding. This may sound basic but you need to find out who (out of those invited) are actually going to turn up on the day. Your organizational skills might also be necessary for helping plan seating or even registering for presents.
A Maid of Honor has obligations on her own as well. It is up to you to plan both the bridal shower and bachelorette parties. Don’t overlook this one. The thank you notes for the guests. You cannot do this if you do not keep a track of which person sent which gift! Your Maid of Honor tasks will probably leave you exhausted but you should feel an immense amount of satisfaction from being (solely?) responsible for the wedding being such a success. Just remember though, you are only really half way through.. You have your MAID OF HONOR obligations during the wedding ceremony.
You would be excused for thinking that all your work is done now that the big day has arrived. You could not be more wrong. This is when there is far more potential for mishaps and trouble. As maid of honor you have a lot more things to do.
Aside from getting yourself prepared, as well as the wedding attendentss you oversee, your obligations as Maid of Honor are in helping the bride, being at her side throughout the day. Because you will be very busy and a little stressed, too, it is a good idea to have prepared some type of checklist for yourself, to ensure every last minute detail is tended to. Help the bride with her wedding gown, veil and makeup, plus anything else she might need. Let her know you are there for her if she desires anything at all.
So, what sort of things do you need to do on the day itself? Well, you’ve got…
Look after the bride’s bouquet and make sure her train is OK (and no one treads on it).
Hold onto the ring your bride is to exchange with the groom.
Take control of the tossing of the bouquet.
Organize the cutting of the cake.
Organize any special dances at the ceremony.
Make sure no one touches the money or presents on the gift table.
Line up the friends and relatives for the photographs.
(when that is all done) pull off the best maid of honor speech ever.
Just as soon as all of your maid of honor tasks are over, you can finally unwind and enjoy what’s left of the party.